I'm "fine".....

"How are you recently?"
"I'm fine,thanks..."
It seem like a normal conversation for you,but,not for me..
I'm fine in other sense,
Spiritually,I'm damn exhausted and totally lost...

My grandpa passed away last Friday,
is fine for me,I still can accept the truth that he gone..
because this is the life's cycle...
This few days,
I was busy dealing with my grandpa's funeral..
Like hell,
running here and there,read the prayer,serving the relatives and...
watching the sorrowful scene(my mom and others aunt were crying so badly),while I can do nothing..!!!
I wish I can comfort them,but I speak no words..haizz...

I'm tired,tired and tired..!!!
I hope to take a deep breathe after my stressful exam,
but then,
my grandpa passed away,making me no time to rest at all...
Everyone have two faces,me too...
I showed my adamant side,because this is the only way to avoid people keep looking down on you...
I determined to get 4 flat in STPM,because I don't like my relatives and my new classmates to look down on me...
I'm not born with silver spoon,but I will change my future..and my family's future...
I don't have the courage to expose my weak side...
that's why I don't show others people my weak and helpless side,I don't........................
I believe in myself...
Just...wait me for 6 more years,I will show them that I,Juliana Koh Pei Nee is capable to change my family's future...
I CAN...

Am I strong enough??
Who knows??
just,i need some rest...
that's all...
I'm FINE...!!!!!!!!!!!!!